Just over a year ago, everything just felt a little off for me.
It wasn't a new sensation, if I'm being honest. I've always had times when I would suddenly get a sense of feeling... out of place. Out of body, really. It was jarring and uncomfortable, and not always immediately identifiable. When I was in college it manifested a lot in my dreams, particularly a recurring one in which I would try to put my contacts in. But, as I would splash solution on my contact, it would get bigger and bigger. So I would try to fold it up and put it in my eye, but it would unfold and increase in size or mutate in some other way. I would be desperate in this dream to fix it, to get on with whatever I needed to be doing, and that sensation would continue into my waking life.
Call it undiagnosed anxiety or something else, but I eventually came to realize that it usually meant something was going on in my waking life that felt that way as well. Desperation, frustration, mounting dread. Yoga teacher training and developing a meditation practice has helped me identify these feelings before they become incapacitating, but assuaging them relies on identifying the issue.
And this time last year, it wasn't presenting itself to me.
I wanted certain things for myself and my career. I knew, one one level, that these things weren't going to happen in my current role. But another side of my brain told me to relax... I had a good, solid job that paid well and that was, in all honesty, pretty easy. But I wasn't challenged. I knew I was worth more than I could make there. I wanted to contribute to something differently.
Around this time I started following a life coach on Instagram, Sanni McCandless. Sanni's focus is more on curating an outdoor-centered life (or finding that balance between the necessities of career and cultivating a lifestyle that accommodates more nature-based activities). But intentional living has always been something to which I'm drawn, and as pretentious and millenial as it sounds, I could glean insights and applicable ideas from her podcast guest spots to my own predicaments.
I've since cobbled together a life that feels more authentic to me, and I know I'm working toward the things that I ultimately want. There's so much value to be gained in finding a community that supports you while also holding you accountable. And that's what I want to help build for you.
Ultimately, life design and living intentionally are the result of intrinsic motivations. While you want certain things, are you ready (and willing) to work for them? How do you know if what you want is attainable - or how to get there? Let's crowdsource these questions. Starting small, with group meetings, let's cultivate a community that's supportive and critical (in the right way) to raise each other up.
To start collecting ideas, complete this none-committal Google form to get on the mailing list to start, and then we'll move on from there.
Transcend. Evolve. Grow.
Talk to you soon =D